““If we don't seem friendly, it doesn't mean we don't want to make friends. We are just shy because we are in a completely different environment.”

Story #52, Takako Chisaka, Japanese immigrant

Interview conducted and story written by Nicole Farha Cerwinka

Edited by Margharita Marras

Originally from Tokyo, Takako has moved countries many times throughout her life, mostly due to her father’s job. The first time she moved to the United States with her family, she was only four years old. They moved to Cambridge, MA and stayed there for two years before moving back to Tokyo. Because she was so young, she does not remember much from that experience. 

The second time she moved to the United States, however, was much more memorable. She was 12 years old, and it was quite a difficult experience. Her family moved to Scarsdale, NY, a suburb in Westchester County located around 45 minutes away from New York City. There, she was thrown into an American middle school without knowing anyone or being able to speak English. She recalls: “The biggest challenge I faced was the language barrier. When I arrived, I only knew very basic English, so I had a very hard time making friends”.

The first friends she made were also from Japan. She quickly realized, however, that she wanted to expand her social circle: “I wanted to make as many friends as possible, so I didn’t want to just stay with my Japanese friends''. She wanted to learn English and meet new people, but she felt like she did not have a lot of support. She was assigned to English as a Second Language (ESL) classes, but, as it turns out, they were not actually English lessons. These ‘classes’ consisted of a couple of teachers helping foreign students with their homework, but they did not teach them English. Takako recalls that “only time and exposure to the language helped me learn English”. 

Takako also faced a cultural barrier. Some cultural differences she found were interesting and not necessarily bad. She recalls: “I found it surprising that cars were so essential, and that everyone had at least one. Some families even had two! I also thought it was interesting how the math American students were learning was much easier than what I was doing in Japan”. However, other cultural differences were difficult to deal with. She found the US to be “much more diverse and inclusive” than she had thought, “but not inclusive enough towards Asians”. She did not face direct racist attacks, but rather subtle racism through extremely ignorant comments that made her feel uncomfortable. “A lot of times, I was approached in public by people who assumed I was Chinese and tried to greet me saying ‘Ni Hao’”. Comments like these made her feel unwelcome and made it even more difficult for her to connect with others. She recalls: “It’s not about how people treated me, I just felt like I didn’t belong. It was difficult to try to be outgoing and make new friends because I felt uncomfortable. It also kind of felt like people were being ‘fake nice’ to me”. 

Although it was very difficult in the beginning, her experience in NY was not all bad. Over time, she became fluent in English, and was able to make many friends, many of whom were also international. She does wish, however, that American students had tried to be more inclusive. She would want them to know that “adjusting is difficult. It is difficult for us [immigrants] to be outgoing. If we don't seem friendly, it doesn't mean we don't want to make friends. We are just shy because we are in a completely different environment, so just try to be more friendly towards us”.