“Love your culture, love who you are, don’t let anyone take it away from you. Stick to your roots”

Story #12 

Neha, first-generation American

Interviewed by Lara Werneck & Written by Jenna Hansen 

Edited by Madeline Humphrey & Lara Werneck

“All I know is that my father came here with $20 in his pocket and not a dime to his name.” 

In the late 1980s, Neha’s father came to Queens, New York from India with the goal of completing his medical residency. Following his arrival in the United States, he worked at Burger King so that he could continue to pursue his medical education. Eventually, he undertook his medical residency at the University of Rochester. 

“He basically started a life here so that eventually the rest of his family could join him,” Neha said in an interview. 

In 1988, Neha’s mother migrated to East Hanover, New Jersey from India at just seventeen years old to attend university. She pursued an undergraduate degree in finance from Drew University as well as a graduate degree in finance from Babson College.

Though they came separately, and as strangers, Neha’s parents had a common goal: to chase the American dream and find success. However, amazing and impressive as their journey was, it certainly was not easy. In migrating, Neha’s parents faced challenges and situations that they could not have anticipated. 

As an Indian man in the medical field, Neha’s father faced blatant and frequent racism.

“For my dad, he faced a lot of racism coming here as a med student, because nobody wanted a brown guy who came from India to do medical work with them,” Neha said. “He’s had many patients, as soon as he walked inside the room and introduced himself, ask for him to find another doctor to treat them.”

While Neha’s mother had perhaps a smoother transition, she also faced challenges. Neha emphasized her mother’s young age when migrating alone to the United States.

“[A] big struggle was being away from her family and her culture; she was very close to her family,” Neha said. “It was very daunting because she was a 17-year-old who had just migrated to a whole new country by herself.”

Despite the difficulties of migration, her parents accomplished exactly what they intended. When asked how she believed migration had changed her parents’ lives, Neha stated that coming to the U.S. allowed her parents to pursue their goals and achieve their dreams in a way that would not have been possible if they had stayed in India. 

“If my dad didn’t migrate, he probably wouldn't be as successful as he is now, being a physician in many major hospitals in South Jersey,” she said. “He wouldn’t have achieved the goals and be as prideful as he is now about how successful he is. He made it, he accomplished what he always had in mind as the American dream.” 

“My mom wouldn’t have had the same employment or educational opportunities that she got here, if she hadn't migrated, because of the sexism in India,” Neha further commented. “I don't even know what would have happened in that case.” 

Neha’s journey as a first-generation American, however, is different from her parents’ experiences as first-generation immigrants. She has faced a series of challenges that are unique to her situation. 

Much like her parents, Neha experienced racial and cultural discrimination; dissimilarly, she grew up with her peers commenting on her cultural practices. 

“I used to be so embarrassed of bringing Indian food to school and wearing Indian clothes in public, and even listening to Indian music in school,” Neha recalled. “This was because a lot of the White American students thought that it was odd and would think it ‘smelled weird,’ and say things like, ‘ew, you’re going to eat that?’” 

The stereotyping did not stop as Neha grew older. She explained that along with cultural disrespect and mocking, she has also often been the victim of sweeping generalizations.

“I face a lot of circumstances where people throw their generalizations about Indian people onto me and I feel as though I have to single-handedly defend my entire culture,” she said.

Furthermore, Neha is also a part of the LGBTQIA+ community. On top of defending her culture on a regular basis, Neha finds that she must also defend this other part of herself. 

“I have to do just the same for the LGBTQIA+ community, and because being a part of such a community is so looked down upon in Indian culture, I often struggle even more in doing so,” Neha said. 

In spite of the many challenges that Neha and her family have faced as migrants in America, Neha believes that they are stronger for it. She is a very ambitious and accomplished individual, and she hopes to help diversify the medical field. 

“Being a brown queer woman, I want to make medical treatment and health resources more accessible to people like me,” she said.

What’s more, as she has grown older and more confident, Neha feels very connected to her Indian culture and values. For example, physical features that were once a source of insecurity have become something to celebrate for Neha. 

“Growing up, I used to hate [my hair], and now I embrace it,” she said. “I saw other Indian people and other people of color embracing their hair and I realized that my hair has so much history and culture behind it — so I decided to join them in empowerment.”

Going forward, Neha hopes to continue her self-love journey and to embrace her identity. She would also encourage others in a similar position to do the same. 

“Love your culture, love who you are, don’t let anyone take it away from you. Stick to your roots,” Neha said. 

And, if she could leave you with anything, Neha would like people who are not immigrants to have empathy for migrants and their children. She wishes that people would consider the multitude of challenges that they already face on a daily basis. 

“I wish people knew about the struggle and how much they have to give of their life,” Neha said. “I wish they knew about how much they had to give to make something of themselves in this world.”