“Reaching out to eachother would be a nice way to learn other perspectives…[we have] different culture backgrounds but [we’re all] also human.”

Story 38, first-generation immigrant from South Korea

Interview conducted by & written by Gisele Sanchez

Edited by Margherita Marras

At the age of 16, A left South Korea in a moment of spontaneity; her father had been relocated to the U.S. for work, so she decided to follow him. As a result, the past four years she has spent as an international student have given her a unique perspective on friendship and personal growth that she hopes to share with others.

Her journey in the U.S. began in California—40 miles away from her father who worked in a different city and over 5,000 miles from her mother who stayed in South Korea “Honestly…like coming here was impulsive,” A recalls, “My dad just got relocated and I was like—should I go? I should go!” Her voice turns up, mimicking the enthusiasm she had back in 2018. “After getting a visa, and coming here, I was like—is this really happening?”

Alone for her first year in the U.S., she attended a boarding school. It was there that she realized her expectations of the U.S. were far from accurate. 

“Honestly, before coming to the U.S. I thought the U.S. would be such a diverse country, like they’re all smart, they’re so aware of racism and they won’t do that—but, yeah, it was the opposite.”

She describes one of the most unwelcoming experiences she had at her boarding school being the students’ reactions to her Korean name. 

“I remember this, like it was English class…my name appeared on the board. It was [my Korean name] and they were like, ‘XXX? Is that a name? Is that a spell name?’ That is what a guy did and literally like five dudes were laughing at it…If it was Korea, I would like swear all of the bad words I knew in my head! But then, I was just shocked that they could do that…I just couldn’t come up with how I should react to that?”

Since then, she decided to go by an American name she describes as a symbol of the confident person she has become in the U.S..

“Now, I really like [my American name]. That’s the reason why I use [it]...I feel this is like my American identity…I think I came up with a good one,” she said with a smile. 

That being said, speaking English was one of the most difficult aspects of A’s migration.

“The moment you come [to the U.S.]...the language barrier—it just like ruins a lot. Your confidence, and your thought process… you just [become] less [opinionated]…In Korea, I’ll just reach out to anyone…But here, I have to think as least three times in my head: Is this the right way to speak? Is this the right way to send an email?”

However, A also expressed some of the positive ways her perspective and self-confidence have changed as a result of living in the U.S.. 

“I feel like Americans are more focused on the ‘natural me,’ and there are pros and cons to having to be the ‘natural me,’ but I think I learned a lot…it’s not wrong to not be super skinny, its not wrong for me to be, like, not having pale skin. So definitely, in a confidence way, I gained some of that. ”

In the name of staying positive, there were two things that kept her going through the difficulties of her migration experience: her family and Nintendo Switch. 

“My nintendo switch!” She laughs at herself, “I love nintendo switch! Also…when I go [to Korea] I’ll meet my friends, grown up for two years, and listen about what happened to them…I definitely feel like trying not to disappoint them was also a great motivation for me.” 

Now a student at BU, she offers insight into living and learning in the space between international and American, and expresses apprehension for the implicit division between the two student bodies.

“I think [American and international students] can be discriminative against each other. I hang out with both…but, I think it is definitely tough.”

A’s advice for fellow international students is: “There will be Americans who are friendly…but I would say don’t wait for that—you can be the friendly international student…and time figures it out—if you just go to bed, wake up the next morning, you will be fine…”

To American students, too, she shares a few things to consider.

“International students sometimes get tired using English. I get more tired when I speak English because I have to think in Korean, translate that, and then speak it into English…the best way to make friends with international students is to take your time…some international students don’t know they’re acting discriminative against an American student—and that can only be fixed by learning, and that takes some time.”

Overall, she believes it is important that students don’t hesitate to reach out to one another— international or not. She explains that all people are human, and therefore share the same desire for friendship.

“Reaching out to eachother would be a nice way to learn other perspectives…[we have] different culture backgrounds but [we’re all] also human.”