“Their migration experience has helped shape my aspirations but in different ways than most people would think”

Nicole Dhar, Courtesy of Roni Deckard

Story #18

Nicole Dhar, Indian-American and Argentinean-American

Interviewed & Written by Roni Deckard 

Nicole Dhar’s experience as second-generation American — born and raised in Austin, Texas — is shaped by the migration journey of her parents and her identity as an Argentinian and Indian. 

Dhar’s father, Ashwani, migrated to two different countries before coming to the United States. Born in India, his family immigrated to England when Ashwani was 5-years-old. The family then immigrated to Canada when he was 10, and subsequently, to the U.S. when he was 14. 

“Just growing up seemed pretty challenging. He looked different from everyone else, had to learn new languages, and felt like an outsider. He just wanted to go back to where he was originally from for a long time,” said Dhar. 

Marcela Bogado, Dhar’s mother, immigrated to the U.S. directly from Argentina after meeting Ashwani. Dhar said that leaving her family and career in Argentina was the most challenging part of migration for Bogado. 

“She had her own journey, and it looked very different than my dad’s. She knew no one in the U.S, and she barely knew the language. She got her degree in Argentina, and it meant less in the U.S. It was a culture shock for a lot of years.”

When asked about the challenges her father faced, Dhar said that his greatest hurdle was his drive for financial security. After growing up in a lower-class household, the pressure to provide for his family in this “big land of opportunity,” she said, “created all this pressure on him to do well, succeed, and choose a career path that made a lot of money.” 

For Dhar, the most challenging part of growing up in the U.S. relates to her experiences as a multiracial second-generation American. 

“As a mixed-race kid, you don't know where you stand because you don't really fit in the Indian community, and you don't fit in the Latinx community. When you look at me, you don't know where I fit.” 

Dhar articulated the disconnect she felt growing up without a community in which she could relate to regarding her identity. Consequently, she said, “I am still kind of confused on how to categorize and identify myself.” 

Feeling unwelcome is a painfully familiar sensation for Dhar. She missed a year of school in her early education after being rejected from a series of preschools that deemed Dhar’s preference for Spanish as “confusing for other students.” 

Dhar recalled the micro-aggressions she has experienced from her mostly White peers. “Whether it's picking on you because you're not smart enough because you're Indian” she said,  “or you're getting picked on because you should be dumber because you're Latin,” there were harmful stereotypes thrust upon Dhar based on her race.

Faced with so much opposition in her life, Dhar discussed the role her parents had in shaping what she has had envisioned as possible for herself. Dhar said that her parent’s sacrifices for financial security have led them to champion their daughter’s dreams, wanting her to pursue what makes her happiest. 

“I think their migration experience has helped shape my aspirations but in different ways than most people would think. They're well off, and they accomplished what they wanted to accomplish. Now they are seeing that they could have pursued something that really made them happy, and they didn't have to just go after what made them money.” 

For Dhar, her parents’ migration stories are important and highly influential in her life; yet, she emphasized that often second generation immigrant voices often get lost due to the nature of their struggles in comparison to those of their immigrant parents.

“It’s assumed that life is grand and things are easy, but you have a lot of internal struggles that you have to deal with yourself that your parents can't help you with and most of your friends can't understand. The problems that I face are completely different but still real and definitely worth telling.”