“Figure out how to be part of society but also maintain my own unique identity and culture”
Story #21
Lei Ma, Chinese-American
Interviewed & Written by Roni Deckard
“be brave. Be kind to yourself and others. Don’t be discouraged.”
— Lei Ma
At 18-years-old, Lei Ma immigrated to the United States to attend college at the University of Minnesota. Eager to pursue new experiences and better education, Ma left her city in central China and braved the challenge of immigrating with no U.S.-based connections.
“I don't know how I did that. Because now, if I'm going to move to a new city in the U.S., it stresses me out”
Arriving in Minneapolis, she described the shock to her system. “I was shocked by the harsh winter, the lack of public transportation, and the size of the city. I wanted to go home in the first few days, but I knew I could not give in to my fears. Navigating the new life was hard, even the smallest thing was daunting to me," said Ma.
“I think it probably took me six to seven months to fully get used to the English environment. A lot of times while ordering food I feel nervous. I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh, am I saying the right thing? Do people understand me? Every time ordering food feels like a nightmare,” she continued.
Coming to a new country, with little to no support, and trying to adjust to an American university made the first semester of college difficult for Ma. These hardships included the challenge of making friends.
“I would go to some classes and try to find another Chinese person, stay next to them and try to say, ‘okay, what's your name?’ Because I don't know…I guess in China, you just go to the classroom and everyone knows each other. And I don't remember how it happened. But in the United States, all the classes are different because you pick your own classes compared to China, where everyone goes to the same classes all the time. So I see different people at different classes, and it’s challenging, like in terms of how to make friends,” she said.
Ma says what she really lacked was good mentors, and with impending graduation, the need for educated guidance was strong.
“That's a challenge I faced was like, trying to get internships and get jobs. I don't think I had good mentors like teaching me or showing me how to do those things. Like I imagine like if I were in China, maybe my parents would teach me ‘okay, maybe this is how you should interact with people in your professional life.’ But here in the U.S., I have to navigate a lot of things on my own. I went to workshops to learn how to write my resume and how to do mock interviews. But for informal interactions with people, I don't think I had like good guidance in terms of how to deal with them.”
“I wanted to go home in the first few days, but I knew I could not give in to my fears. ”
Ma’s ability to obtain a job was heavily impacted by the informal social interactions and references that often structure interviews and leverage a candidate’s chances for hiring. However, through numerous interviews and workshops, Ma began to be accustomed to these social references.
When asked how immigration has changed her, Ma believes she has become more resilient and compassionate in the United States.
“I had to solve a lot of problems on my own. Like renting apartment, moving, applying for graduate schools, buying a car, learning how to drive, and getting sick. I really appreciate all the friends here who have helped me through all the challenges! It also teaches me how to be strong in hard situations.”
Ma also described feeling more introverted in the U.S. than she did in China: “I think I was more extroverted in China. In high school and middle school, I liked to hang out with people. But here, I do not know how to make friends, especially like friends out of my racial group. Because I think people talk about different things. Sometimes I don't understand what the TV show they're watching is, and there’s just a gap. I feel like I became more introverted in some way because I will get nervous that I don't know how to talk to people.”
Ma emphasized that with the bad, came a lot of good. "I had many encounters with people who had negative attitudes towards me. But I also received help and guidance from friends, colleagues, and supervisors who treated me equally and kindly," she said.
When asked what has brought her the most joy from her migration experience, Ma said she is proud of her growing independence.
“For example, Ma said “I can do my Ph.D. because here I’m like, oh yeah, I like doing research, and I have the freedom to do it. I think that's great.”
This year, Ma plans to make more progress with her incredible ongoing research projects.
“I think when I first came to the U.S., I only cared about my own education and career prospects. But now I want to use my skills to contribute to the communities and help promote economic justice in ways I can,” she said.
One of these projects is investigating how the rising Asian population could potentially affect urban segregation patterns.
She said her second project is “looking at gentrification in Chinatowns and Koreatowns and other ethnic enclaves. Because a lot of these neighborhoods are created because of housing discrimination practices like 100 years ago. But now this place has become the hot spot to be gentrified, and we are looking at what it means for the people living in those neighborhoods. Like, especially for Chinatowns. A lot of people living there are very old people who do not speak English, so now, if you take their homes away, what will happen to those people?”
When asked what advice she would give to other migrants of similar backgrounds, Ma said “be brave. Be kind to yourself and others. Don’t be discouraged.”
She hopes for more mentorship for immigrants that would alleviate some of the challenges she faced upon immigrating to the U.S. and suggested to “find someone in your culture who is older than you, who has who is more experienced and is willing to guide you and support you in this journey.”
Ma also wants more people to learn about the diversity of immigrants, emphasizing the harm that the term “model minority” has on the Asian community.
“There are so many different Asian subgroups who have so many different life experiences.”
To explain this, Ma quoted a sentence from the book The Loneliest Americans by Jay King: “‘everyone tells me Asians are becoming more white, but I don't feel like a white person in any single moment in my life.’”
Feeling that this has applied to her own life, Ma said, “when you call people a model minority, you basically narrowed down the whole person, the whole group, just in terms of their academic achievement. But you don't see other aspects of like the group, like the people, also including the struggles they face in everyday life.”
Moving forward, Ma said, “I guess my current challenge is to figure out how to be part of society but also maintain my own unique identity and culture.”
