“I'm very thankful for the life that my parents helped mold for me. Even with all the trials and tribulations and all that, there were many positives that came with it”
Story #22, Sharette Bello-Suazo, first-generation Afro-Latina
Interviewed & Written by Roni Deckard
Sharette Bello-Suazo’s father made the journey to cross the border at 18-years-old from Veracruz, Mexico. For her father, the choice to leave everything and migrate to the U.S. was a choice to create a better life for himself. Sharette’s mother was pushed, at 18-years-old, to migrate to the U.S. from Honduras for potential access to better opportunities.
Independently, with few family members located in the U.S., her parent’s journeys led them to Seattle, Washington. Bello-Suazo was born soon after.
Bello-Suazo said that neither of her parents talks much about their separate migration journeys. Her father made two additional border crossings; the first was to get his birth certificate, and the second was to be a coyote and help other Mexican immigrants cross the border.
“He also told me a little bit about his migration through the states, like how he ended up in Washington. He started off dishwashing and doing a little bit of construction. When he went further West along the coast he did a lot more migrant farm work, so he was picking strawberries a lot,” said Bello-Suazo. When he eventually settled in Seattle, her father became a truck driver and mechanic.
The story that Bello-Suazo knows of her mother’s migration is the story of how she got her name: Sharette.
“Her coming to the states officially was actually her second time trying to migrate. The first time was a failure. She and her brothers got stuck in Belize for a year. She doesn’t really remember anything really about it, but she's like, ‘that's where I met a woman named Sharette.’ She told the woman that ‘I’m going to name my first daughter that,’” recounts Bello-Suazo.
Overall, Bello-Suazo said there isn’t much that her parents have shared with her. “I don't know if it's because it's hard, they don't remember, or if it's too sad. I think it's more like they don't remember because they've done so much since they have been here in the States. They also came at that really key developmental age range, like 18-19 years old,” said Bello-Suazo.
When asked if Bello-Suazo is in contact with any of her extended family, she described a jarring trip when she was sent to stay with her family on her dad’s side in Mexico in 10th grade.
“It's very common in Latino culture to send your child back to your parent’s home country if they think you're acting out,” explained Bello-Suazo.
For Bello-Suazo, the experience was eye-opening; “I already knew my dad had a really big family, but I didn't know what they looked like. They had no idea how I looked either.”
When Bello-Suazo arrived at the airport in Mexico, she encountered her first memorable experience of that time; “I went to see if my uncle was out there. And I was like, Where is he? Hopefully, he's out there. Luckily, he and his whole family were there, and they came up to me and I went up to them. And I thought, okay, so we're family. I looked nothing like them.”
Bello-Suazo continued to describe her experience living with family members that looked very different from herself.
“As I got to know each of my family members that I was able to meet during that time, it was very clear that physically, I did not look like them. I came out with more caramel skin because of my mom. I actually even got questioned by a couple of my family members, like ‘am I really related?’ And ‘are you sure you are your dad's daughter?’ And I was like, `Yes, I'm sure he is my dad,’” said Bello-Suazo. Moreover, after not seeing her father for over 10 years, Bello-Suazo said that the family even struggled to recognize more current photos of her father.
During this time, the culturally intricate and complicated branches of Bello-Suazo’s family tree began to grow in front of her own eyes.
For example, Bello-Suazo said, “in our culture, people just say they're married when they've been together for a very long time. They don't actually go do the official marriage thing.”
She also began to understand more about the life her father had lived prior to migrating to the U.S.
“I got to see like, oh, this is my dad's family. This is where he comes from. Some of them still live in the same family homes that he grew up in or down the street from them, and they would point out the houses to me.” Bello-Suazo continued, “It was my first time in Mexico, and so I had no idea what to expect. And I was like, wow, this is a completely different world. I can understand and see why my dad struggled. I can understand why his family continues to struggle and why it's really hard to be successful in Mexico.”
When asked if she believes her family has been impacted by her parents’ migration, Bello-Suazo said “even though I am Latina, there were parts of the overall Latino culture that impacts your typical Latino families, but it did not impact us.” “For example,” she continued, “one value that's really important in Latino culture is family. And, yes, of course, my family cares about each other and we are close. But at the same time, because of how my parents were raised, and because they left their countries, they became very independent very quickly. So, they raised me and my younger brother to be very independent as well.”
This value of independence instilled through her parents’ migration experience manifested itself in various ways in Bello-Suazo’s life. “I was one of the few people in high school who not only went to college but also went to college out of state…a lot of my Latino classmates were staying home right after graduation. They didn't graduate. They were going to community college, or they were going to college in-state.”
Bello-Suazo also believes that she was steered away from certain gendered expectations for Latina women. “Something also very big for Latinas is getting married and having a family right away. I remember when I was younger, I didn’t have any shame about my mom having me so young, but I know I don't want to be 20 and have a kid. So when I hit the 21st mark, I was like, I did it,” said Bello-Suazo.
Bello-Suazo mentioned that her father “grew up in a very big Machismo culture that's really big in Mexican culture,” she continued, “he ended up bringing that culture as he was raising me and my brother, which also impacted us.”
“This value of independence instilled through her parents’ migration experience manifested itself in various ways in Bello-Suazo’s life. ”
She also struggled with her identity as an Afro-Latina woman born in America. “It’s difficult…I guess it's confusing. Sometimes I find it difficult within my own identity like how Latina am I because I grew up here in America? I'm very Americanized because of that. And I'm not really connected to my roots as I should be…as I want to be,” Bello-Suazo remarked.
Bello-Suazo discussed how the different pathways available for her parents’ migration impacts their ability to see family living in their native country. Her mom entered the U.S. through a legal avenue; therefore, she is able to maintain communication with family members in Honduras by traveling to and from.
Conversely, her father did not enter the U.S. legally, so it has been difficult for him to maintain contact with family members in Mexico.
“Who knows what life would be like if he kept in communication with his family, or he was able to go back, or he got his papers sooner,” she said.
These strained familial relationships, impacted by border crossings and legal documents, have shaped Bello-Suazo’s questions about her own identity. “I know I am a daughter of immigrant parents, and I'm very proud of that. But at the same time, I'm like, how much of my own immigrant parents' culture do I truly know?”
For Bello-Suazo, her biggest struggle living in the U.S. has been “assimilation,” and she said, “even though I was raised here, and I was raised in a very diverse part of the country, I always felt like I never fit in. I didn't understand why I was dark and everybody else was super light. And being usually the only Honduran within the room, I felt even more alone. I just don't know what to do.”
“I know I am a daughter of immigrant parents, and I’m very proud of that. But at the same time, I’m like, how much of my own immigrant parents’ culture do I truly know?”
One of her singular regrets is not speaking Spanish more frequently at an earlier age. “My mom would speak Spanish to me in the house, and she was like ‘you have to speak Spanish.’” At the time, Bello-Suazo fought this; “I go to school in America. I speak English. They speak English. My teachers and friends all speak English. I’m going to speak English.”
Retaining and improving her Spanish has become a crucial part of Bello-Suazo’s life now. “Trying to speak it has been difficult. I am working on it as much as I can, but it is very hard. I'm lucky that I haven't lost it completely yet, but that's something I would definitely go back and tell my younger self: take Spanish more seriously,” she said.
How she identifies herself has also changed over time; “I just recently started embracing this other identity that I identify with, which is Afro-Latina. Being a dark-skinned Latina, we are a subculture within our population. There's a lot more research and a lot more Afro-Latinos coming to the map and being more well known. I'm like, ‘oh, that's been me this whole time, but I just never knew this is okay for me to say,’” remarked Bello-Suazo.
Her parents' legal status has also shaped Bello-Suazo’s identity and path in numerous ways. “When it comes to having immigrant parents…I have some immigrant friends who don't have the same amount of luck as my parents did,” she said.
For Bello-Suazo, her fluency in English and basic understanding of the American legal system provided her with the necessary tools in a fight to keep her family physically intact in the U.S.
“My dad was almost deported when I was in high school. I was lucky enough to be born in America to have some basic understanding of the legal system and luckily, he had a supportive attorney that was willing to work with me to help defend his case.” She continued, “a lot of kids in immigration cases, defending their parents, don't know the language. They don't speak English, or not of age, and don't know anything that's going on,” she said.
Though successful, Bello-Suazo said, “It still sucked, though. Because I know so many other kids who would not get this opportunity to help keep their parents in the country. With that experience, just seeing how hard my parents worked, and just as an adult, really understanding all the struggles and the trauma that I went through, it obviously wasn't great. But it did mean something in the end. I don't have any regrets about how my life has shaped me into the person I am today.”
“This experience,” Bello-Suazo said, “led me down to a path of wanting to really give back to my community and getting more in touch with my own identity to show my community that we come in all colors, shapes, and sizes. And that we can be role models. We don't have to follow the traditional norms to be successful. Not that there's anything wrong with you wanting to start a family, staying at home, or not going to college. But if you do want to go to college, there are opportunities.”
Her career pursuits have largely been driven by the totality of her parents’ immigration journeys. “The experience of my dad's almost deportation lasted for about four months...well, he was incarcerated for about four months, but this whole legal proceeding is still going on, even though this started back in high school for me,” said Bello-Suazo.
From previous goals of becoming an immigration attorney to her current focus on working with unaccompanied minors that are crossing the border from Central America, Bello-Suazo has been driven to help her community in any way that she can.
Recently, Bello-Suazo traveled to the U.S.-Mexico border in Texas through BU’s Border Studies Program to provide support to migrants who face traumatic conditions. It was during this trip that she recognized “a huge need for Latino helping professionals. There's also a dire need for the voices of my community which is Afro-Latinos, and being a citizen child.”
Currently, a graduate student at BU, Bello-Suazo said “there's not a lot of research that's out there, and I want to contribute to that research to show that we do exist and we are here, there are so many types of Latinos in existence.”
She doesn’t see herself going into any other kind of work. “This was my first time getting that actual experience of being around immigrant people that weren't my family or my friends and actually helping serve them. And I'm like, this is so heartbreaking…but it also brings me so much joy because I see that now that all these people are coming over the border, and there are more and more people that look like me. And they will prefer someone that looks like them to help them with their needs, their legal case or whatever they may be struggling with," said Bello-Suazo.
When reflecting on the path she is on now, Bello-Suazo emphasized the community of people outside of her family that has helped her throughout life.
One of these individuals was the lawyer that took her father’s case pro bono. “Litigation cases can be very expensive, especially if they take a lot of time,” explained Bello-Suazo. “There were a lot of other components minus the immigration part that was affecting this case, and so she was very considerate and genuine in wanting to help him…I don't think another attorney would have done that for him.”
An education shaped by influential teachers also played a significant role in Bello-Suazo’s life. “I went to good schools that were very diverse, where my teachers noticed, and they were very involved in my family. But that's just how the school culture was,” she said.
“I think we've always just had the right resources in place, whether it was for parents or for me and my brother. We went to the right schools, and within those schools, we had people who cared about us, not just the teachers, but the principles and counselors. We had other students' parents. That was just the culture that was cultivated in the neighborhood I was living in. So even though my parents don't like to involve people, eventually the community ended up having to get involved. And if they didn't put their pride aside, then I would say we would have needed a lot more things, but because they did put their pride aside, we got blessed with a lot of things.”
When asked what advice Bello-Suazo would give to anyone in a similar position as herself, she passed on the wisdom of her tío abuelo, “Echale Ganas.” In English, this loosely translates to “give it your all.”
Through adversities, Bello-Suazo continues to work hard and persevere. “I saw my parents never give up, and they still don’t give up to this day. They work very hard. Yes, they make mistakes. All humans do. I've made my fair share of mistakes as well, but I'm very thankful for the life that my parents helped mold for me. Even with all the trials and tribulations and all that, there were many positives that came with it,” she said.
““Echale Ganas.” In English, this loosely translates to “give it your all.””
Bello-Suazo also wanted to emphasize that “the cultural values that are very typical within our heritage don't need to continue with you. If you want to break the chain, feel free to go right ahead. Don't be scared.”
“If there's something you really want to do,” advised Bello-Suazo, “even if it's not college–if you want to go on a study abroad trip or you want to go into trade school or whatever–it doesn't have to be education, but whatever you want to do, don't be afraid to not follow the norm. Go ahead and be different, be yourself, and be authentic in any way possible. Because it's your life, at the end of the day. Your parents did help shape and mold you. They did the same for me and I'm eternally grateful. But there are a lot of things I've learned from them that I know I don't want to pass down. The things that I'm learning now as an adult, are extremely helpful as well, and I know that at the end of the day, I still would want to be at least half the parent that my parents were.”
